"I called you up, to see if maybe we could hang out. I told you I was sad & feeling lonely. But I bit my lip, and you said yes. And I thought of how beautiful the night would be. And I thought maybe we could drive around talking about your town, or we could just stay at home. And I could win you over acting cool, just like real romance."
Wow. I've been talking to lots of people lately, getting closer to all of them. And they all amaze me in different ways. There are many valuable people in my life but they're all valuable in different ways. I don't want to miss out on anything, with any of them. Kinda crazy, but it makes me so happy.
But it's kind of like an addiction. Once I have that first initial meaningful conversation with someone, I want more of those conversations. Like I said, I don't want to miss a thing. But that's where things get confusing. I want to have great conversations, and I can have them with lots of people, I've recently discovered. So it helps that there's a lot of people I can talk to, so I don't depend on one. But then again, there are some people who I could talk to only them for the rest of my life and I'd be okay with it. But nobody wants that.
So many great people, but today I feel kind of crappy about everything. I guess it boils down to the fact that I always feel like I care more about people than they do about me. Here I am trying to learn everything about everyone and get to know them on deeper levels and embrace who they are as individuals, and there they go, right out of my life.
I better learn to accept it, or change it.
I vote for change.
But today I'm just tired, and I think I'll keep to myself and give everyone a break.
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I talked with you about this last night but I still stand by what I said.
ReplyDeleteSometimes you have to learn to stand alone before you can stand with others.