But one more thing.

I feel like I'm caged inside a glass box.
There's no room to breathe, and it's very uncomfortable.
But everyone can see so I have to pretend it's okay.

Every now and then I show little clues,
"Hey guys, I'm unhappy."
In fact guys, This is the most unhappy I've been in three years.
But I know guys, it's really not your fault.
It's really not your problem to deal with, it's mine.
And if I have a problem, how can I not deal with it?

....Well, duh, because I'm trapped inside this fucking box.
Even attempting to get out of it will show some kind of weakness to my onlookers.
Banging on the glass, but not breaking out, how embarrassing.
Breaking a sweat, how embarrassing.
Even worse- battle wounds! Even if I do break out, how embarrassing.

So I make little plans for myself to stay up late.
Because at night, when nobody's watching, I can do whatever it takes.
But it's not working. Maybe I'm just unmotivated.
At one second I think it's fine and I'm fine and it's all okay,
But another second I'm ready to stab myself.
I want to scream, but nobody would hear anyway, especially at night.
Maybe I can't do it by myself.

However, it's nobody else's liability.
However, I'm ruining friendships because of this shit.
People are sick of hearing it, and I get it.
I'm trying to make myself as unnoticable as possible,
But Freedom Lies in Being Bold.

I'm really not sure what I'm doing.
Nevermind.
I thought I was getting to a conclusion, dammit.
The apathy is killing me, guys.
Killing. Me.