Seeing It This Way

Can I have my own thoughts to cheer me?
I think so, yes. I might not exercise this ability all the time, but yes, I do.
I am cheered by learning new things and making puns.
My own thoughts provide enough cheer.

Can I have my own thoughts to make me feel alive,
Like I'm "awake" in Thoreau's sense,
To feel like I'm in the sky,
To feel like a noble gas?
I'm not so sure.

I've only felt truly alive once.
And I wasn't alone.
I felt alive because of the conversation I had with another.
Is this wrong? Should I be able to feel alive on my own?
I'm not really sure.

In other news, my face itches really bad and I can't tell if it's emerging acne or just a rash.

Also, I find it to be pathetic that the most upsetting thing I've had to deal with this week is my disappointment at the fact that I probably won't get to take AP Physics next year. This makes me want to scream, knowing that the seniors this year had chances that I won't simply because they're, well, let's face it, more intelligent than my class, and more academically driven. My class is afraid of AP Physics because of the effect it will have on their GPA. But what about the things they could actually learn? Okay, so they don't all want to be scientists so maybe they wouldn't really want to learn physics... But could it really hurt? Why not learn something just for the sake of learning? I understand, not everyone has this viewpoint. But it's not a bad viewpoint... And Okay, it's probably selfish that I am trying to push everyone else to take AP Physics just so there will be a class. It's okay that they don't want to, but I'm just upset at the fact that I feel like I'm missing out.

Southgate Anderson, your science department sucks.
What is a sigma bond? A pi bond? Dalton tried to tell me, I forgot.

Sorry for ranting.